Some Things Can't Be Unread

Some things can't be unseen.

Sometimes, we stumble upon these five simple words when surfing the net, and understand that they sound a warning.  A warning that might precede a mildly shocking or heart-breaking image, or perhaps a vulgar video that might make your sweet ol' gran cringe, or a squeamish co-worker lose his appetite.  It's a caveat thrown around so lightly these days, that sometimes one can't really be sure, as your cursor lingers over that mysterious link, whether you should heed it and back off, or just proceed, full-speed-ahead, to the potentially "mind-blowing" content waiting for you on the other side...

But then what if that unseen image or video truly had the power to forever alter your perception of the world around you, and in a decidedly dismal way?  Would you let your curiosity get the best of you?  Would you throw caution to the wind and see for yourself just what kind of madness lurks in the darkest corners of the web?

Still reading?  Good.  Then, let's just get this out of the way now:  When I say, "can't be unseen", I'm not harkening back to the dial-up internet gag-pics and gross-out files like "Tubgirl", or Goatse.cx, or Lemonparty.org.  Sure, they were fun to trick your buddies into clicking on in middle school computer class, but today, they're on the harmless end of the mind-fuck scale.  I'm not even talking about the fetishistic depravity of "2 Girls 1 Cup", or really, anything from that gut-wrenching school of Bizarro-porn.  I can't even imagine deriving some vague satisfaction watching Dr. Pimple Popper explode infected black-heads and lance bulging cysts, as so many of those that enjoy those videos gleefully report.  I don't understand or appreciate the "comedy" in Internet Challenge videos like "Rainbow Milk", "Bananas & Sprite", or "Capri Sun", where the whole idea is to gorge oneself, hurl all over the place, and sick your viewers out for laughs.  Though, I can't argue, each undoubtedly comes tagged with a "cannot be unseen" warning label aimed to potentially deter your click.

Now, is that stuff sick?  Of course.  Does it tend to stay with you for hours, maybe even days, after viewing?  In the vast majority of cases, absolutely.  But, the content I'm referring to when I say "can't be unseen", very distinctly delineates itself from the preceding examples by the utter, unimaginable horror contained therein.

I want to offer another warning right now: the assortment of videos described below are simply the most egregious digital manifestations of evil, madness, macabre, and nature's unflinching savagery, that I've yet stumbled across in my short life.  They should not even exist at all, let alone be viewed by another living being.  But, in this "miraculous" day and age, even films recorded fifty years ago on a VHS camcorder find themselves alive and well in their binary archives and viewed by millions.

So, to answer my own question posed above -- No, I wasn't able to reign in my morbid curiosity enough to bypass these brutal spectacles.  I watched them, in full, and I am forever changed as a result.

Final warning...some things can't be unseen.

"Goodbye to all of you on the count of 3."  - R. Budd Dwyer, January 1987

5.  R. Budd Dwyer Suicide Tape

On a frigid, winter afternoon in Harrisburg, PA, disgraced politician, R. Budd Dwyer, assembled a press conference at the Capital building to officially resign as Treasurer of Pennsylvania. Staring down the barrel of severe bribery allegations, Dwyer, who maintained innocence to his last, had resolved to die rather than answer the charges in court.

The video picks up with Dwyer at the podium having just concluded his rambling, mostly incoherent resignation speech.  He then summons three aides, hands each a letter-sized envelope (which turned out to contain a suicide note, an organ donor card, and a letter to PA Governor, Robert Casey), before muttering some indiscernible instruction. 

Then, suddenly, Dwyer seizes a manila envelope he'd hidden behind the dais, and yanks from it a .357 Magnum.  The sense of bewilderment in the crowded chamber is palpable as hardly a reaction is registered at first.  But, in the span of three seconds, confusion becomes alarm, panic escalates to terror.  A chorus of, "No! Don't! Please! Budd, NO!", erupts from the audience.  Unmoved, Dwyer clutches the pistol in one hand, and shoves away any who move to confront him with the other. 

The gun cradled against his chest, he raises his free hand in the air, before calmly warning, "Please, please, leave the room if this will...if this will affect you."  His admonition is met with pleading and chaos, so once again, he warns everyone to stay back.  "Don't, don't, don't! This will hurt someone." 

Then, grasping the weapon in both hands, Dwyer presses the barrel to the roof of his mouth and pulls the trigger.  There's pandemonium and tortured shrieking as his body slumps lifeless against the wall.  The top of his head shredded by the bullet, the camera zooms closer, unsympathetic, as blood cascades from his nose like a faucet for the next ten seconds. 

A shockingly cavalier gentleman in the gallery pleads with his frenzied peers, "Don't panic.  Don't panic.  Don't panic, now."   Umm, k?

    

4.  The Brick Video

If I learned one thing from watching this video, it's that graphic imagery isn't always what lingers in your memory when it's over.  Sometimes, a bit of context and a few seconds of audio proves more than disturbing enough to soak you in a cold sweat. This clip, clocking a mere 30-odd seconds in length, packed as visceral a punch as my battle-tested mind has ever absorbed. 

A single play-through still haunts me with guilt and regret to this day.

In a scene ported straight from Final Destination, the dash-cam recording opens on a two-lane highway in Syktyvkar, Russia.  The horizon is a soft blue, the sun is shining, the surrounding fields are lush and green.  Conspicuously, though, there are no medians separating the traffic speeding past in opposite directions.  Inside the car, a man and his wife are up front, while another couple and their young child ride in back.  Only the steady hum of the engine and occasional rattle of passing cars can be heard as the unsuspecting families glide up the highway.

A red, semi-truck lurches into view, advancing on them fast in the opposite lane.  Its shadow swallows up theirs as it thunders past.  Trailing the semi is a white Audi sedan, which is followed closely by a rickety-looking box-truck loaded with bricks.  Though the dash-cam footage gets a bit grainy, one can clearly make out a clatter of loose bricks spilling out of the box-truck onto the highway ahead.  One can also discern the silhouette of a single brick as it's catapulted up into the air and hurtles toward the dash-cam...   

In a sickening instant, the brick has torn through the windshield and crushed the skull of 29-year-old Olga Gaikovich, who occupied the passenger seat.  Nothing graphic or gory is shown in the subsequent moments as the car's occupants' stunned disbelief gives way to unflinching reality.  

Olga's husband's frantic sobs are heard as he yanks the car onto the shoulder.  The couple in back begin to wail and scream.  Their baby starts to bawl.  Indifferent motorists coast by them, completely oblivious to the tragedy in their midst.  

Suddenly, the video cuts off, and the viewer is left numb and with agony still echoing in their ears.